Find the Right Person and Be the Right Person

Ephesians 5:22-33
1 Corinthians 7:1-17
1 Peter 3:1-9

What is the purpose of Marriage?
• To teach servanthood, humility, and submission (1 Cor 7, Eph 5:22-29, 1 Pet 3)
• God’s only provision for sexual fulfillment (1 Cor 7:1-9)
• Spiritual growth and sanctification (1 Cor 7:14, Eph 5:22-29)
o do not take on a person as a conversion project (ie marrying them hoping to convert them) (1 Cor 7:16, 2 Cor 6:14) http://www.visi.com/~nathan/xtian/unequalyoke.html
• Pictures Christ’s relationship with His church (Eph 5:22-32)
o A witness to the world of the true intimacy with God.
o A foretaste of the eternal intimacy with Christ.
o A display of sacrificial, unbreakable love.
 by divorcing, we are telling the world that God gives up on us when we do something wrong.
o Helps us understand His forgiveness of our sins when we must continually forgive each other in marriage despite continued offense and vulnerability.

The world sees marriage as a personal fulfillment, not as a way to glorify their Creator. People get married for monetary gain, for comfort, for someone to make them feel loved, for sex, for safety, etc., but they are all still self-centered though they sound noble.

Based on the Biblical reasons for marriage (or even dating), how do we choose the right person and what kind of person should we be?
• Both need to be of one mind (Eph 5:30-32, 1 Pet 3:8,9, 2 Cor 6:14), agreeing that they are together to show the world the glory of Christ.
• Both are to show love sacrificially, not expecting anything in return.
• Husbands to love wives as part of their own body. Wives show respect for husbands leadership.
• We are to concern ourselves with showing affection with the other, not getting affection from the other.
• Women are to be modest, trying to show from the way the dress their Godly character, not overtly displaying their physical beauty for all to admire.
• Men are ready to honor their wives, presenting her to the world as his treasure, as a gift from God.
• Men are to strive to understand their wives, listening to her concerns to lead with her interests in mind.
• Men should be willing to stand up to the world for her, ready to die for her.
• Women should look for a man who is ready to be the spiritual leader of the home (Eph 5:26), not someone who makes excuses for their lack of spiritual discipline.
• We should respect God’s call to purity (in thought and action), not tiptoe as close to the edge of sin as possible.
• The person you are considering should respect their parents and your parents.
• They should be humble, ready to admit fault and wrongdoing, open to council and rebuke.
• A man should not be afraid to show emotion over his wife.

The three radio broadcasts on this site inspired this study. They are only 30 minutes a piece.

Assurance

Each Sunday I would like to dedicate a little space to post a prayer from the compilation of Puritan prayers called "The Valley of Vision." These are some of the greatest prayers I have read and encourage me to pray for more than health and travel safety, but for things of eternal value.

ALMIGHTY GOD,

I am loved with everlasting love,
clothed in eternal righteousness,
my peace flosing like a river,
my comforts many and large,
my joy and triumph unutterable,
my soul lively with a knowledge of salvation,
my sense of justification unclouded.
I have scarce anything to pray for;
Jesus smiles upon my soul as a ray of heaven
and my supplications are swallowed up in praise.
How sweet is the glorious doctrine of election
when based upon thy Word
and wrought inwardly within the soul!
I bless thee that thou wilt keep the sinner thou hast loved,
and hast engaged that he will not forsake thee,
else I would never get to heaven.
I wrong the work of grace in my heart
if I deny my new nature and my eternal life.
If Jesus were not my righteousness and redemption,
I would sink into nthermost hell
by my misdoings, shortcomings, unbelief, unlove;
If Jesus were not by the power of his Spirit my sanctification,
there is no sin I should not commit.
O when shall I have his mind!
when shall I be conformed to his image?
All the good things of life are less than nothing
when compared with his love,
and with one glimpse of thy electing favour.
All the treasures of a million worlds could not make me richer,
happier, more contented,
for his unsearchable riches are mine.
One moment of communion with him,
one view of his grace,
is ineffable, inestimable.
But O God, I could not long after thy presence
if I did not know the sweetness of it;
And such I could not know except by thy Spirit
in my hear, nor love thee at all unless thou didst
elect me,
call me,
adopt me,
save me.
I bless thee for the covenant of grace.

Christian Calling

Each Sunday I would like to dedicate a little space to post a prayer from the compilation of Puritan prayers called "The Valley of Vision." These are some of the greatest prayers I have read and encourage me to pray for more than health and travel safety, but for things of eternal value.

O Lord God,

The first act of calling is by thy command in thy Word,
'Come unto me, return unto me';
The second is to let in light,
so that I see that I am called particularly,
and perceive the sweetness of the command as well as its truth,
in regard to thy great love of the sinner,
by inviting him to come, though vile,
in regard to the end of the command, which is fellowship with thee,
in regard to thy promise in the gospel, which is all of grace.
Therefore, Lord,
I need not search to see if I am elect, or loved,
for if I turn thou wilt come to me;
Christ has promised me fellowship if I take him,
and the Spirit will pour himself out on me,
abolishing sin and punishment,
assuring me of strength to persevere.
It is thy pleasure to help all that pray for grace, and come to thee for it.
When my heart is unsavoury with sin, sorrow, darkness, hell,
only thy free grace can help me act with deep abasement under a sense of unworthiness.
Let me lament for forgetting daily to come to thee,
and cleanse me from the deceit of bringing my heart to a duty
because the act pleased me or appealed to reason.
Grant that I may be salted with suffering,
with every exactment tempered to my soul,
every rod excellently fitted to my back,
to chastise, humble, break me.
Let me not overlook the hand that holds the rod,
as thou didst not let me forget the rod that fell on Christ,
and drew me to him.

All Things to All Men

1 Corinthians 9:15-23

Paul just finished telling the new Corinthian church that he is a leader sent from Christ to share the gospel with them. He says that he has given his life for this cause and deserves to be paid. The church has benefited greatly from his ministry and he has dedicated his life to his ministry, so he must be compensated somehow. However, because he doesn’t want to appear like the false teachers simply looking for money, he has not demanded money from them. He works all night to make money so he can preach and teach all day. He denied his right so that the weaker brothers may grow. Then he tells them that he continues to deny himself so he can get close enough to people to share the gospel with them.

In this discussion, please consider your own life; not what you think we as a group or as a church should do, but what liberties in your own life are God speaking to you about. What freedoms would he have you set aside so you can reach out to someone you normally wouldn’t?

There is a thin line presented in these verses that we have a very difficult time walking:
• Don’t become so separatistic and legalistic that you have no influence in the world.
• Don’t become so like the world that there is barely any difference to be seen.
Both of these are sinful; which do you need to repent of?

Paul explains this thin line in verses 20 and 21:
1. not under the law – Because of Christ Paul doesn’t have to earn salvation, he is free from wrath and guilt. He also is not required to keep the civil and ceremonial laws given by Moses (circumcision, not eating pork, etc.).
2. not without the law – However, he is not free to live an immoral life.
3. law of Christ – Paul lives as Christ commanded us to love our neighbor as ourselves.

John Piper – “Make an effort to overcome every unnecessary alienating difference between you and those you are trying to reach.”

There are two ways this can apply to our lives:
1. Setting aside our rights, avoiding things that you are free to do (and may often enjoy doing) that others may be sensitive to, even though they are not sinful (if they are sinful you shouldn’t be doing them anyway).
2. Doing things you normally don’t do to accommodate those you are trying to preach the gospel to (as long as they are not sinful).

There are things the Bible says are right. There are things the Bible says are wrong. There are things the Bible neither says are right or wrong. This gray area we are at liberty to choose what we want to do, but it may not always be beneficial (see 1 Corinthians 6:12, 1 Corinthians 10:23). We are to love our neighbor as ourselves and if our liberty hinders that, our liberty must be limited.

Examples:
Denying your right to be paid so you don’t look greedy.
Denying your right to alcohol so you don’t tempt a weak brother overcoming alcoholism.
Not eating a ham sandwich around your Jewish friends.
Giving your life to learning a new language so you can translate the Bible.
Dressing like the people you are trying to share the gospel with (while keeping modesty in mind)
Eating the food set before you when visiting the neighbors for dinner.

Our goal is to get close enough to the world so they can see that we have been dramatically changed from the inside out.
We don’t want to be like the world simply to get them to join our church and be our buddy. We want them to see and hear (Romans 10:14) a difference in us so they will desire repentance and be changed by Christ.

Two questions to test your motives in adapting to the world:
1. Are you becoming more worldly minded than the people you are reaching out to are becoming spiritually minded? You are not called to lose your holiness but to gain theirs.
2. Is your passion for winning their souls growing or shrinking by the lifestyle adaptations you are making?

This is about self-denial, not self-gratification. I love baseball, so it may not be the easiest thing for me to become a baseball player to reach baseball players because I will be tempted to be consumed by my love for baseball (self-gratification) instead of staying committed to my concern for sharing the gospel. If I love Christ and want to obey His command to share the gospel, I may have to deny myself some liberties in order to accomplish that goal.

The Saviour

Each Sunday I would like to dedicate a little space to post a prayer from the compilation of Puritan prayers called "The Valley of Vision." These are some of the greatest prayers I have read and encourage me to pray for more than health and travel safety, but for things of eternal value.

THOU GOD OF ALL GRACE,

Thou has given me a Saviour,
produce in me a faith to live by him,
to make him all my desire,
all my hope,
all my glory.
May I enter him as my refuge,
build on him as my foundation,
walk in him as my way,
follow him as my guide,
conform to him as my example,
receive his instructions as my prophet,
rely on his intercession as my high priest,
obey him as my king.
May I never be ashamed of him or his words,
but joyfully bear his reproach,
never displease him by unholy or imprudent conduct,
never count it a glory if I take it patiently when buffeted for a fault,
never make the multitude my model,
never delay when thy Word invites me to advance.
May thy dear Son preserve me from this present evil world,
so that its smiles never allure,
nor its frowns terrify,
nor its vices defile,
nor its errors delude me.
May I feel that I am a stranger and a pilgrim on earth,
declaring plainly that I seek a country,
my title to it becoming daily more clear,
my meetness for it more perfect,
my foretastes of it more abundant;
and whatsoever I do may it be done in the Saviour's name.

Where is God in Catastrophe?

This is the question we discussed in our Young Adult Tuesday night Bible Study. I will post the notes when I get them in a computer format. For now, check out these links:

This is John Piper's response to the bridge collapse in Minneapolis. Splendid! Consider how much your sin offends God and you will praise Him for His mercy.

Listen to the first hour of this radio show. Todd (the host) visits the U of M and asks students where God was during the collapse. He also discusses God's sovereignty over calamitous events with Mark Dever.

[Update] Sorry these are late, here are a few notes from our study together.
Have you pondered how much your sin angers God, yet because of His Son, you are given life anyway?

Romans 8:28 God works all things together...
He uses "tragedy" to bring about his purposes. He teaches us about the seriousness of sin, the fragility of life, His control over His creation, our helplessness in the world.

Four words in the Luke passage to consider:
Ye - Jesus isn't talking to one person but all people
repent - turn away from your sin, admitting that underneath you are corrupt, laying your sin on Christ, trusting your life to Him, hoping in His promises for the future.
likewise - death will sneak up on you and you will be surprised
perish - the context can't mean that we will simply die, or that we will die from a tower falling on us. Christ seems to be suggesting final judgment (reference John 3:16)

Because God is holy and righteous, it is good for Him to punish our sin. We see catastrophes as tragic, God sees it as right. It is only because of His mercy and grace that we get to take another breath. The amazing thing about these events is not that sinners died, but that the rest of us sinners, by God's mercy, are allowed to live.

After recognizing this great truth of the seriousness of sin and God's great mercy, it should drive us to our knees for God's salvation to come to more sinners.

The Parable of the Lost Son

Luke 15:11-32

• This is a story mainly of repentance and of God’s joy over a repentant sinner.

• Three Characters:

• Father – God
• Prodigal Son – Repentant Sinner
• Oldest Son – Self-righteous, Unrepentant Sinner (specifically in context a Pharisee)

• Context:

• Speaker – Jesus
• Audience – Tax Collectors, Sinners, Scribes, Pharisees
• Specifically Jesus was responding to the Pharisees’ accusation of Jesus hanging out with “sinners.”

1. Youngest son asks for his inheritance, essentially saying he wishes his father were dead. His only concern is himself, picturing the heart of the sinner before conversion.
2. He travels far off and spends his money on “Prodigal living” (Gr. dissolute, utterly debauched lifestyle). His heart is manifest in his depraved life of sinfulness.
3. When his squanders his entire inheritance, he gets a job feeding pigs (this is incredibly insulting to the Pharisees who know that the Law states swine are unclean animals. This is the bottom of the barrel for a Jew). He would gladly have eaten the pigs food (but couldn’t because it was not digestible by his system), and since nobody would help him out, Jesus is describing him in helpless despair; the place we must come to before God’s grace is poured out on us.
4. The youngest son decided to beg for mercy from his father, but his father instead ran to him joyfully, giving him the best robe, a ring, sandals, and killing the fatted calf for a celebration (See Luke 15:7 “more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents”).
1. Robe – reserved for guests of honor
2. Ring – symbol of authority
3. Sandals – restoration to sonship (slaves went barefoot)
4. Calf – saved for most special of occasions
5. Older son was angry and jealous of his father’s joy over his lost brother. This is a rebuke by Jesus of the Pharisees’ proud, self-righteous (as opposed to Christ’s righteousness) unrepentant hearts.
6. The father rebukes his older son telling him he has always had the blessings of his household but still cannot find joy in his repentant brother. Jesus was explaining to the Pharisees here that they were raised in the Old Covenant, under the blessings of God’s chosen people, but simply being in the household doesn’t make them children of God. If they were truly sons, they would be joyful over the restoration of repenting sinners.

Before I was truly converted, I always sympathized with the older son. I didn’t understand why he was rebuked for being faithful to his father the entire time and asking for a little recognition. When I finally understood my own helplessness and truly repented, I understood that the older son was just as sinful (proud, hateful, jealous, self-righteous, selfish) and I was just like him. I had grown up in church my entire life, having all the blessings of being in the family of God (like the older son), without actually being a child of God. What a beautiful story this has become to me, because of my previous confusion and how the Spirit has brilliantly illuminated the depth of meaning in this parable to me.

This is a great picture of what a conversion looks like; recognition of your utter helplessness, understanding the wealth of God available to you anyway, and turning your back on the old lifestyle coming to the Father for mercy. We must be careful adding interpretations to every detail of parables to try and prove a point. Jesus purpose in telling parables was simply to make a point within the context of the conversation with his audience at the time. Here the younger son simply portrays a sinner before and after conversion and the overwhelming joy of God in welcoming sinners to His home.

Consider your conversion story; does it parallel with Prodigal at all? Did you recognize how lost you were and ask God for mercy or have you always felt you were a pretty good person who deserves a few blessings from God? If your conversion was genuine and you truly repented, can you imagine the celebration going on in heaven when you called out to him and the party you will be welcomed to when you finally arrive in your eternal home? Oh, how I can’t wait to see everyone there and thank God for blessing me beyond belief when I don’t even deserve pig slop.

“’For this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.” Luke 15:24