Those Sanctifying 'Lil Whipper-Snappers

We are, by nature, very selfish creatures. Think about it. We cry for milk from day one, we argue for our toys not long after that, and on and on it goes. As teenagers (and adults), we guard our reputation very closely. Call it what you want--self-preservation, the Freudian "id," your sin nature--but know that, at its core, it is nothing but unabashed selfishness.

That is why, I believe, God has especially ordained the institution of the family as a sanctifying means of grace. Our instinctual need for camaraderie, fellowship, love, and companionship requires, when rightly done, a level of self-sacrifice. Consider, gentlemen, when you began dating; if you cared at all about your date, you would go see that movie, even if it was a "chick flick," or you would try that new restaurant, ladies, even if it wasn't quite your taste. I even remember at my wedding ceremony being reminded that my wife and I were now one, and I must consider her needs as highly as my own.

And, now...well, the Lord has gifted us with a precious (albeit, very selfish) little girl. Now, more than ever, I understand the implications of love, and family, as it requires of me a level of selflessness I have never yet experienced. I surely never would have, either, by my own devices. I'm far too selfish to go looking for self-abasement.

And, so, God, in His sovereign grace and wisdom, has crafted our love relationships in such a way as to engender selflessness. I remember the day I came to terms with the fact that my aversion to having a child was not rational and fiscally prudent, as I would have liked to have believed. Rather, it was from selfish motives that I came to this conclusion, because I realized that, if I were to wait until I had enough money, or enough time, or even enough desire, that time may never come, when God has given me all the resources, here and now, to have said baby (Kristine's her name).

I simply can't get past the fact that God has, by sheer biology, created husband and wife with the ability to procreate, and I see now, from this side of parenthood, that it was to refine me that he graced our home with a screaming, fussy, poopy (sorry), tireless little helpless creature that insists I (and her mother, of course, and, all the more so) see to her every need. And, in the transaction, I further see that my perceived needs I had prior seem largely inconsequential.

Now, I don't want to rub insensitive to those who find themselves single, or unable to have children. By and large, however, it is God's design that we marry, and we have children. I fear our world's mentality has creeped into our church far too well, to allow us to think that it's mydecision, my body, my timetable. As children are a natural consequence of a God-honoring marriage, it seems it is His intention that we have them, as it is our express purpose on this earth to grow in grace, and experience deep, and satisfying, sanctification. But, that's just my opinion.